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Why did the Oxford University Press staff member cross the road?

In order to celebrate National Tell a Joke Day, we asked fellow Oxford University Press staff members to tell us their favourite joke(s). Some of these jokes will make you guffaw and some will make you groan but hopefully all of them will make you smile. The jokes below range from the strange to the downright silly – we hope you enjoy them!

Simon Thomas is a Content Marketing Executive for Oxford Dictionaries, and shared a joke his brother made up:

What’s the difference between a window cleaner who’s scared of heights and this joke?

The window cleaner only works on one level.

———-

Hannah Charters is an Associate Marketing Manager for the Online Product Marketing team and enjoys this simple, straight-forward joke:

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9 (say it out loud)

———-

Unfortunately, Amy Jelf recently left OUP but, before she left, she shared this cheese-based joke with us:

Which cheese is made backwards?

Edam

———-

Ged Welford is a Library Sales Manager, and impressively kept both of his jokes ‘on-location’:

This man walked up to me and said “I’m gonna cut the bottom of your trousers off and put them in the library”

I said “Right. That’ll be a turn-up for the books.”

And…

A man walks up to the library desk and says: “I’ll have fish and chips with a chicken pie please!”

The librarian at the desk says: “You do know that this is a library?”

The man whispers very quietly: “Oops, so sorry. Fish and chips with a chicken pie please.”

———-

Alice Graves is an Assistant Marketing Manager for the Institutional Marketing team, and always laughs at this joke:

Two fish are in a tank.

One says to the other: “How do you drive this thing?”

———-

Katie Stileman is a Junior Publicist, and only finds jokes funny if they are not actually funny:

How do you confuse a lexicographer?

Paint yourself green and throw forks at them.

———-

Tracey Rimmel recently joined OUP as a Group Communications Assistant, and shared the following jokes with us:

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

He was outstanding in his field.

And…

The Dalai Lama walks into a pizzeria and says:

“Can you make me one with everything?”

And…

A termite walks into a bar and asks:

“Is the bar tender here?”

———-

John Kay is a Group Internal Communications Manager, and made us smile with this joke:

Who’s the star of Groundhog Day?

Bill Murray

Who’s the star of Groundhog Day?

Bill Murray

Who’s the star of Groundhog Day?

Bill Murray

Who’s the star of Groundhog Day?

Bill Murray

———-

Isabel Thompson is a Marketing Research Analyst, and told us this joke (with voices too):

A snail gets mugged by a tortoise.

Afterwards, a policeman asks “So sir, can you tell me what happened?”

The snail looks bewildered and says “Oh, er, I don’t know! It all happened so fast!”

———-

Ella Percival is a Communications Manager for GAB Marketing Services, and tragically finds this joke funny (every single time):

What do you call a French man in sandals?

Phillipe Phollope

———-

Jack Campbell-Smith is a Multimedia Producer, and made us laugh with this:

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

———-

And I’ll leave you with the following:

I went to dance at a sea-food disco last night.

Pulled a mussel.

———-

Featured image credit: ‘Time-money-laughing businessmen’. By Alexas_fotos. CC0 Public Domain via Pixabay.

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