Online dating is becoming an increasingly prevalent context to begin a romantic relationship. Nearly 40% of single adults have used online dating websites or apps. Furthermore, the world of online dating is no longer confined to young adults; reports suggest adults aged 60 and older are the largest growing segment of online daters. Obviously, adults using these websites are motivated to find a partner, but we know little about why they want to date or how adults of different ages present themselves to potential partners. In other words, do older and younger adults have different motivations to date? If so, how might their online dating profiles reflect these different motivations?
I explored these questions with my co-author Karen Fingerman in our recent study examining the profiles that older and younger adults posted via online dating websites. In the largest systematic examination of online profiles to date, we gathered 4000 online dating profiles from men and women across the United States. We sampled profiles evenly by gender and from four age groups (18 to 29; 30 to 49; 50 to 64; and 65 or over). The final sample ranged in age from 18 to 95.
To get a descriptive picture of the profile content, we looked at the most commonly used words across dating profiles. We noticed a high degree of similarity in what adults wrote about in their profiles, perhaps due to the highly scripted questions that elicit dating profiles. The word-cloud below shows the 20 most commonly used words across the entire sample, with each word scaled in size relative to its frequency. Generally, profiles reflected a common motivation to date; people wrote about looking for love and someone to enjoy life with.
Most common words across all online dating profiles
Yet we also found that older and younger adults presented themselves differently to potential dating partners. Below are two word-clouds that show the next 30 most common words, now broken down into the youngest and oldest age groups.
Common words for young adults
Common words for older adults
To explore age differences systematically, we used a software program called Linguistic Inquiry and Word Count, or LIWC. The software calculates the proportion of words in a text sample that fit specific categories. The LIWC software showed that adults of different ages use different language in their dating profiles. Notably, older adults used more positive emotion words such as “sweet,” “kind,” and “nice,” more first person plural pronouns such as “we,” “us,” and “our,” and more words in the ‘friends’ category. These findings suggest that when they present themselves to potential partners, older adults focus on positivity and connectedness to others. Not surprisingly, older adults were also more likely to use health-related words such as “ache,” “doctor,” and “exercise.”
Younger adults, on the other hand, seemed to focus on enhancing themselves in their dating profiles. Younger adults used greater proportions of first-person singular pronouns “I,” “me,” and “mine,” as well as greater proportions of words in categories of ‘work’ and ‘achievement.’
Older and younger adults were equally likely to use words that refer to attractiveness and sexuality, suggesting that adults of all ages share a desire for a physical connection with their dating partners.
While this study gave us a glimpse into the online dating lives of these adults, it did not address how things turned out, such as the number of messages the writer received from potential partners, how many dates they went on, or whether they formed a relationship. Yet, other research suggests that online daters are more likely to respond to people who send messages with fewer self-references. Additionally, research shows that displaying strong positive emotions in an online dating message is related to better first impressions and evaluations of the writer. So it appears that older adults may have a bit of an edge over their younger online dating counterparts when it comes to constructing their profiles. But we will have to wait for future studies to determine how profile content is related to actual dating outcomes.
Overall, our research helps to illuminate the motivations people bring to their online dating profiles. Single adults of all ages are looking to find love and a partner to enjoy life with. However, older and younger adults may highlight different motivations in their profiles, with younger adults focusing on themselves and older adults emphasizing positivity and connections to others.
Image Credit: Photo by Stevepb. Public Domain via Pixabay.
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