By Nikita & Redford
Translated by Jen Quigley, Sales Associate, and Betsy DeJesu, Publicity Manager
Though the 2010 World Cup has drawn to a close, there is a very important lesson we can glean from that spectacular, month-long, global soccer match. And not just that vuvuzelas are very ear-splittingly loud. Instead, the World Cup has shown us that despite our many differences—of geography, culture, languages, time zones, and beers of choice—there are still certain things that can bring together even the most opposite of peoples.
In that spirit of unity, then, we wanted to foster a partnership between two of the world’s most, shall we say, unfriendly beings. We’re not talking about Team Jacob vs. Team Edward or the Yankees vs. Red Sox vendetta. We’re talking about the real deal. That’s right. Dogs and cats.
Though typically considered enemies and many times relegated to different parts of the yard, we are here today to take the first steps to bridge the gap between our species. Representing for canines will be Redford, and weighing in for the feline perspective will be Nikita. Redford and Nikita have agreed to meet on neutral territory to open up a dialogue and see if they can find some common ground for their people to run around on.
Nikita: Hello, Redford. Thank you for agreeing to this meeting. Please disregard the copious amounts of catnip I have sprinkled on the floor. It keeps me grounded during situations like this.
Redford: (Silence…Redford looks up from eating catnip off the floor). Bone. Cat. Squirrel. (more chewing).
Nikita: Let’s start. I figured that since we are both big readers, we could discuss our love of the written word.
Redford: I like book. Smells good. Tastes even better. Squirrel!!! (Redford takes off and returns several moments later out of breathe.) I like book. (Panting….)
Nikita: Great. First question: What recent book, in your opinion, deserves two paws up and a tail wag?
Redford: Garth Stein, The Art of Racing in the Rain. Paws down. Stein took it to another level with this one. Intellectual pups, race cars, rain puddles and a bunch of tail wagging moments between person and dog. Truly an empowering moment for any young canine after reading this book. I mean, it’s our job to take care of our people and any person, cat or dog that thinks otherwise can duke it out with Mr. Stein.
Nikita: Who is your favorite character in literary fiction and why? It’s okay if it is a human. Or a cat. No one will judge.
Redford: Does the squirrel sitting outside that window count….
Nikita: What was your favorite book when you were a puppy?
Redford: That monkey, George. I like him. Yellow Hat. Hugs. Monkey.
Nikita: Blog vs. print?
Redford: Bone. Wait, what? Oh sorry. My little legs prevent me from reaching the computer screen. Print. Read it. Eat it. Pee on it. Enjoy it.
Nikita: Steampunk or YA fiction?
Redford: When I grow up I’m going to be an astronaut. (Redford lies down to lick his paws and scrounges for catnip crumbs,)
Nikita: Thank you for your time, Redford. I hope this partnership proves to be beneficial for our two species, and I look forward to other such dialogues. Please take a Milk-Bone from the bowl on your way out.
Redford: Bone!
Philip, my pet jellyfish, enjoyed the article and is now open for an interview. His favorite topics are the vicissitudes of the post-Hegelian dialectic in modern media, the parallels between the Manichean Heresy and linguistic duality of patterning, and how not to get squished when the tide goes out. He’s trying to finish a book on medieval Islamic philosophy but his iPad is not coping well with crashing waves.
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Lauren, Lauren. Lauren said: It's Friday, which means: PET BLOGGING! http://ow.ly/2cuDJ #woot […]
How does Redford feel about book-reading TV star Wishbone?
Wishbone! Too cool for school. Don’t get me wrong, Redford has his Sherlock Holmes moments like when he discovers a piece of rice fallen from the stove top. But Wishbone is, let’s just say it, smarter than Redford and he knows it.
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[…] by Jen Quigley, Sales Associate, and Betsy DeJesu, Publicity Manager Welcome to round two. Last week you met Redford and Nikita. Two brave souls attempting to bridge the gap between dogs and cats. As […]