Friday Pet Blogging: Bentley

By Bentley

as dictated to and translated by Jamie, Events Coordinator

Wet Hot American Summer (Books)

Did you guys see that movie The Blind Side? I’m a huge Michael Lewis fan—MONEYBALL WHAT!—plus I’ve been a huge Sandra Bullock buff ever since her performance in Speed 2. So needless to say, Blind Side was a must-see for me last year.

Anyway, I was SHOCKED by how much that movie resonates with my real life. Consider these similarities between me and the protagonist, Michael Oher:

1. Oher lived in poverty for 16 years; I lived in a cage for 6 years
2. Oher was adopted by a southern lady with strong opinions; my mommy is southern and has very strong opinions about me eating chicken bones in the park (SPOILER ALERT: she’s against it)

That’s it really, but still, isn’t that kind of eerie? If you haven’t seen that movie, do so soon. I’m saving this Amazon credit I have leftover from Chanukah to buy it when it comes out on Blu-Ray.

Okay, sorry about that tangent. I’m actually here to recommend a few books published by Oxford University Press, which is the place my mommy works and gets all kinds of awesome books that are perfect for passing time in an apartment while your mommy is at work and not walking you. (Note to Mommy: more walks, please.)

Here are a few of my favorites. All of these books have earned Bentley’s Two-Duclaws-Up™ seal of approval:

Animal Rights: What Everyone Needs to Know

Love the title! This book closely resembles a pamphlet I put together for Mommy a few months ago titled Bentley: What Mommy Needs to Know. Here’s the abridged version of that classic:

1. Walks are awesome
2. The park is the best
3. I love you, Mommy
4. Off-leash times in the park are before 9:00 AM and after 9:00 PM
5. I hunt these squirrels for your protection
6. Time to go to the park

AIA Guide to New York City, Fifth Edition

The authoritative guide to architecture in my city of residence. My neighbor Clyde, a 2-year-old Labrador with a big stupid mouth, lives in one of the buildings on page 641. He wouldn’t stop bragging about it during our Bananagrams game this weekend. Things got a bit heated.

(Sorry again about the couch, Mommy.)

The Oxford Handbook of the Development of Play

This one actually hasn’t released yet, but the title tells you everything you need to know: playing is the best! There’s probably an entire chapter about the park! Plus there are all kinds of sweet photos of monkeys. Look at this!

HAHAHAHA LOL. Monkeys are the best. I’m going to start playing Bananagrams with these guys instead of that loser Clyde. MAYBE THEY WILL AT LEAST HAVE THE COURTESY TO RESPECT MY MOMMY’S FURNITURE AND ALSO NOT DROOL ALL OVER MY NEW STUFFED OSTRICH NAMED KEVIN.

Talk to you guys later!

Bentley