Comments on: Lupus: Marriage, Family, and Sexuality http://blog.oup.com/2007/10/lupus/ Introducing brilliant authors to the blogosphere. Sat, 21 Nov 2009 22:43:07 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: B http://blog.oup.com/2007/10/lupus/comment-page-1/#comment-149870 B Sat, 28 Mar 2009 15:08:48 +0000 http://blog.oup.com/2007/10/lupus/#comment-149870 To spouses of SLE: I've been married nearly 20 years to my wife. She was diagnosed several years ago with SLE. Understanding that SLE is a LIFE altering change can be difficult. Address your wife's drinking first, then address individually all that SLE will change. Remember, SLE changes what and how someone does something. The spouses of SLE have to step up and do more around the house. look up SPOON THEORY. Sex life is more like cuddle, hug, kiss, connect time. You both have to work together on what works well and when it works well. Remember you will be doing more around the house so plan accordingly. after you've done everything you can to help, you might be the one saying, "not tonight, I'm tired." Remember everything changes. Have an immaculate house= expect more dust. Go out every week= expect to miss a few times. Stay up late= expect some early bed times. Gotta run and hug my wife, gently. Take care and good luck. To spouses of SLE:
I’ve been married nearly 20 years to my wife. She was diagnosed several years ago with SLE. Understanding that SLE is a LIFE altering change can be difficult. Address your wife’s drinking first, then address individually all that SLE will change. Remember, SLE changes what and how someone does something. The spouses of SLE have to step up and do more around the house. look up SPOON THEORY. Sex life is more like cuddle, hug, kiss, connect time. You both have to work together on what works well and when it works well. Remember you will be doing more around the house so plan accordingly. after you’ve done everything you can to help, you might be the one saying, “not tonight, I’m tired.”
Remember everything changes.
Have an immaculate house= expect more dust.
Go out every week= expect to miss a few times.
Stay up late= expect some early bed times.
Gotta run and hug my wife, gently.
Take care and good luck.

]]> By: John http://blog.oup.com/2007/10/lupus/comment-page-1/#comment-149029 John Wed, 21 Jan 2009 07:33:12 +0000 http://blog.oup.com/2007/10/lupus/#comment-149029 My wife was recently diagnosed with SLE. But our sex life died over a year and a half ago, probably due to undiagnosed SLE. She drinks herself silly regularly. After a couple of drinks she's rude, mean, angry and much more. When I reach out to touch her she pulls away or starts talking about anything that curtails intimacy. In short, I've been getting pushed away for a very long time now. She's still beautiful to me. But the nightly alcohol induced nastiness will kill our marriage, if it hasn't already. I'm just getting pushed away one drink at a time. My wife was recently diagnosed with SLE. But our sex life died over a year and a half ago, probably due to undiagnosed SLE. She drinks herself silly regularly. After a couple of drinks she’s rude, mean, angry and much more.

When I reach out to touch her she pulls away or starts talking about anything that curtails intimacy. In short, I’ve been getting pushed away for a very long time now.

She’s still beautiful to me. But the nightly alcohol induced nastiness will kill our marriage, if it hasn’t already. I’m just getting pushed away
one drink at a time.

]]> By: Susan m Kennedy http://blog.oup.com/2007/10/lupus/comment-page-1/#comment-148768 Susan m Kennedy Thu, 25 Dec 2008 10:53:25 +0000 http://blog.oup.com/2007/10/lupus/#comment-148768 Need to talk to a counsler because husband is very distant and standofish. Im very sad I have lupus and was very happy in sex life with husband now everything has changed. Theres no touching from joe and it hurts and cuts deep within my insides that my stomache hurts so bad joe had no idea. The lups and RA and fibromyalgia and back discs are there but I love so many family members and need joe my husband to come back from being that this way. Please answer Desperet x-mas day 2:55 in morning. Thank-you for your time Susan Kennedy Need to talk to a counsler because husband is very distant and standofish. Im very sad I have lupus and was very happy in sex life with husband now everything has changed. Theres no touching from joe and it hurts and cuts deep within my insides that my stomache hurts so bad joe had no idea. The lups and RA and fibromyalgia and back discs are there but I love so many family members and need joe my husband to come back from being that this way. Please answer Desperet x-mas day 2:55 in morning. Thank-you for your time Susan Kennedy

]]>