Comments on: Passover and Mom http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/ Academic insights for the thinking world. Fri, 24 May 2013 18:48:58 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.2 By: Rebecca G. http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-12274 Rebecca G. Thu, 28 Jun 2007 06:58:31 +0000 http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-12274 I guess there is no one of age in this group that can speak from the experience of dealing directly with a parent who hovers. there's no problem with being a loving and nurturing parent, but too much is suffocating. i can speak first hand. I'm home from college for the summer and am not even halfway through and already want to kill someone (me or her). I guess the best analogy that can be used is: a baby needs food and water. too much will make them fat and malnourished; but too little will make them starved and dehydrated. at both extremes death is the outcome. I guess there is no one of age in this group that can speak from the experience of dealing directly with a parent who hovers. there’s no problem with being a loving and nurturing parent, but too much is suffocating. i can speak first hand. I’m home from college for the summer and am not even halfway through and already want to kill someone (me or her). I guess the best analogy that can be used is: a baby needs food and water. too much will make them fat and malnourished; but too little will make them starved and dehydrated. at both extremes death is the outcome.

]]> By: You Never Call! You Never Write!: A Video : OUPblog http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-1420 You Never Call! You Never Write!: A Video : OUPblog Thu, 12 Apr 2007 12:34:19 +0000 http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-1420 [...] Lauren being interviewed. Check it out below. Also, be sure to read Joyce’s other posts, Passover, Q and A, and Mother’s [...] [...] Lauren being interviewed. Check it out below. Also, be sure to read Joyce’s other posts, Passover, Q and A, and Mother’s [...]

]]> By: Mother’s Marathon : OUPblog http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-1334 Mother’s Marathon : OUPblog Wed, 11 Apr 2007 12:56:15 +0000 http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-1334 [...] we posted a Q and A with her daughter, comedian, Lauren Antler. Last week Joyce wrote about Passover. Today she weighs in on the marathon of [...] [...] we posted a Q and A with her daughter, comedian, Lauren Antler. Last week Joyce wrote about Passover. Today she weighs in on the marathon of [...]

]]> By: A Few Questions For Joyce Antler : OUPblog http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-1237 A Few Questions For Joyce Antler : OUPblog Tue, 10 Apr 2007 12:22:43 +0000 http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-1237 [...] Lauren Antler to quiz her mom. Below is what Lauren found out. Be sure to read Joyce’s Passover post and check back everyday this week for [...] [...] Lauren Antler to quiz her mom. Below is what Lauren found out. Be sure to read Joyce’s Passover post and check back everyday this week for [...]

]]> By: Doris Friedensohn http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-1236 Doris Friedensohn Tue, 10 Apr 2007 12:06:27 +0000 http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-1236 Dear Joyce: Passover, so dependent on the unstinting labor of the Jewish mother, seems like an ideal time to launch your new book! I wish you the very best! My own "position" on matters Jewish remains in the very wry corner. I confess, happily, to marking the beginning of this recent Passover in Portugal -- with suckling pig. The seder continues to be one of my super unfavorite Jewish celebrations - - possibly because more than the joy, I remember the anxiety attached to my mother's efforts to do it right and please her mother and her brothers, the serious males -- about matters Jewish - - in the family. For decades, I cooperated, waiting eagerly for the moment when my cooperation would no longer be required and I could give a pass to the whole enterprise. (I've recounted this experience in my food memoir, EATING AS I GO: SCENES FROM AMERICA AND ABROAD, in a chapter entitled "The Penultimate Passover.") Since the spiritually inclined members of the younger generations in my family are Buddhists, I'm off the hook forever. Of course "forever" is an unreliable word. I'm still willing to believe that the seder is a larger, better community experience than my memories allow; and I'm certainly willing to believe that (Jewish) mothers and daughters are connected more richly than their interactions over any particular ritual may suggest. In fact, thinking about your book, the Passover season, and this issue prompted me, just yesterday, to send a special donation to a foodbank I support in honor of my mother. warmly, Doris Dear Joyce:

Passover, so dependent on the unstinting labor of the Jewish mother, seems like an ideal time to launch your new book! I wish you the very best!

My own “position” on matters Jewish remains in the very wry corner. I confess, happily, to marking the beginning of this recent Passover in Portugal — with suckling pig. The seder continues to be one of my super unfavorite Jewish celebrations – - possibly because more than the joy, I remember the anxiety attached to my mother’s efforts to do it right and please her mother and her brothers, the serious males — about matters Jewish – - in the family.

For decades, I cooperated, waiting eagerly for the moment when my cooperation would no longer be required and I could give a pass to the whole enterprise. (I’ve recounted this experience in my food memoir, EATING AS I GO: SCENES FROM AMERICA AND ABROAD, in a chapter entitled “The Penultimate Passover.”)

Since the spiritually inclined members of the younger generations in my family are Buddhists, I’m off the hook forever.

Of course “forever” is an unreliable word. I’m still willing to believe that the seder is a larger, better community experience than my memories allow; and I’m certainly willing to believe that (Jewish) mothers and daughters are connected more richly than their interactions over any particular ritual may suggest. In fact, thinking about your book, the Passover season, and this issue prompted me, just yesterday, to send a special donation to a foodbank I support in honor of my mother.

warmly,
Doris

]]> By: Rachel http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-1080 Rachel Sun, 08 Apr 2007 03:04:00 +0000 http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-1080 Perhaps a toy helicopter on the seder plate might be in order? Thanks for an excellent article, Joyce. Perhaps a toy helicopter on the seder plate might be in order?

Thanks for an excellent article, Joyce.

]]> By: Lois http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-1002 Lois Fri, 06 Apr 2007 19:17:27 +0000 http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-1002 Great info! I read from your blog about the cup for Miriam and her mom at our Passover sedar, and some of the men actually listened. Thanks so much for posting this information. Great info! I read from your blog about the cup for Miriam and her mom at our Passover sedar, and some of the men actually listened. Thanks so much for posting this information.

]]> By: Kim http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-997 Kim Fri, 06 Apr 2007 16:20:31 +0000 http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-997 Wow! Very potent message! You have added new breadth and spirit to my religious observance. I will undoubtly include and honor Miriam and Jocheved in future Seders. I also identify with the "helicopter mother" and hope that my children will appreciate it and when it is their turn wear it as a badge of honor. Let's correct the misconception together. Wow! Very potent message!
You have added new breadth and spirit to my religious observance. I will undoubtly include and honor Miriam and Jocheved in future Seders.

I also identify with the “helicopter mother” and hope that my children will appreciate it and when it is their turn wear it as a badge of honor. Let’s correct the misconception together.

]]> By: Rebecca http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-949 Rebecca Thu, 05 Apr 2007 21:29:27 +0000 http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-949 Good point Carole. I guess since I am not a mother yet, reading this post made me think of my own mother. Let us know what your daughters think! Good point Carole. I guess since I am not a mother yet, reading this post made me think of my own mother. Let us know what your daughters think!

]]> By: Carole Kessner http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-942 Carole Kessner Thu, 05 Apr 2007 20:50:11 +0000 http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-942 The opening paragraph of this blog suggests that daughters should share this with their mothers. Since I am a mother of daughters who are mothers, I shall share it with them. There is much wisdom in Joyce Antler's Passover Derash, and I am eager to learn how my grown children will receive it!!! Now,if only I had read this in time for Passover. . . . As they use to say in Brooklyn-- Wait till next year. Carole The opening paragraph of this blog suggests that daughters should share this with their mothers. Since I am a mother of daughters who are mothers, I shall share it with them. There is much wisdom in Joyce Antler’s Passover Derash, and I am eager to learn how my grown children will receive it!!! Now,if only I had read this in time for Passover. . . . As they use to say in Brooklyn– Wait till next year.
Carole

]]> By: Vicki Gabriner http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-917 Vicki Gabriner Thu, 05 Apr 2007 04:20:45 +0000 http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-917 My mother and I have switched roles. Now I am on call 24/7 as she, approaching her 96th birthday, all marbles in order, but the body not quite so, recently moved to an "independent living with amenities" space around the corner from me. Over the years, there have been times when we have been quite separate, usually by my choice, not hers, and other times when we have helicoptered over each other (she over me in my younger years, and now I over her). I am profoundly grateful that she and I have been able to come full circle. Joyce, I know when I share your words with my mom they will, as they have for me, shed sweet light on our mother-daughter relationship, and the centrality, for too long ignored, of the mother-daughter relationship in the great liberation story of Pesach. Chag Sameach! My mother and I have switched roles. Now I am on call 24/7 as she, approaching her 96th birthday, all marbles in order, but the body not quite so, recently moved to an “independent living with amenities” space around the corner from me. Over the years, there have been times when we have been quite separate, usually by my choice, not hers, and other times when we have helicoptered over each other (she over me in my younger years, and now I over her). I am profoundly grateful that she and I have been able to come full circle. Joyce, I know when I share your words with my mom they will, as they have for me, shed sweet light on our mother-daughter relationship, and the centrality, for too long ignored, of the mother-daughter relationship in the great liberation story of Pesach. Chag Sameach!

]]> By: Rochelle Ruthchild http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-897 Rochelle Ruthchild Wed, 04 Apr 2007 21:16:03 +0000 http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-897 Bravo to joyce antler for her wise observations on the jewish mother stereotype, her nuanced approach to this very significant topic, and the neat way in which she has connected current attitudes towards jewish mothers to the passover story. Bravo to joyce antler for her wise observations on the jewish mother stereotype, her nuanced approach to this very significant topic, and the neat way in which she has connected current attitudes towards jewish mothers to the passover story.

]]> By: Mae Rockland Tupa http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-887 Mae Rockland Tupa Wed, 04 Apr 2007 17:13:03 +0000 http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-887 EXCELLENT article! At this years Seder we had a special cup of water for Miriam, as well as a feminist Orange on the Seder plate. Next year we will add something for Jocheved......hmmm...how about a saucer under Miriam's cup to pick up the drips...fits the theme;-) History depends on point of view and who writes it. As more women become respected historians , Moms finally get their place in the sun. Thank you!! Mae EXCELLENT article!
At this years Seder we had a special cup of water for Miriam, as well as a feminist Orange on the Seder plate.
Next year we will add something for Jocheved……hmmm…how about a saucer under Miriam’s cup to pick up the drips…fits the theme;-)
History depends on point of view and who writes it. As more women become respected historians , Moms finally get their place in the sun. Thank you!!
Mae

]]> By: Mindy http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-692 Mindy Mon, 02 Apr 2007 16:59:52 +0000 http://blog.oup.com/2007/04/passover_mom/#comment-692 Chag Samaeach!!! What a wonderful article on moms. Cheers to helicopter mommies for all of their love and support!!! Chag Samaeach!!! What a wonderful article on moms. Cheers to helicopter mommies for all of their love and support!!!

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